"Looking good for labour" or "My extreme example of how mass media screws me up"

Have you guys seen this crazy picture that is supposedly of a woman at the very moment she's giving birth? I have to tell you, I'm totally skeptical. But the editors at iVillage assure me it's for real.

Well, that's just great. Does this picture mark the beginning of a whole new pressure on women to look hot while giving birth?

To compare, this is what I looked like about an hour before giving birth to Archer:

I would like to put it out there that I have no recollection of saying it was ok to take a picture of myself in this condition. I blame the drugs (and oh yeah, the fact that I had been in labour for 34 hours at this point).

So I want to be clear right now for round #2: it is decidedly not ok for anyone to take a picture of me in the throws of labour.

That being said, I can't help but thinking, that I would like to try a *little harder this time not to look like a total train wreck. To be clear, I want you to know that I know, that looking good is the least important part of this day. I get that.

But I am going to pack my hospital bag with a few items that I didn't have the first go around:

1. Cuter pjs-lounge wear: Don't spend a lot on this. There is a pretty good chance that they will get permanently ruined. I'm not getting into details. Some of you will know what I'm talking about. But these super comfortable pants are on sale at the Gap right now. They are a nice neutral colour and plain (as opposed to flannel bunny-type pjs) and they have that fold-over top that works

super-well for pregnant and new moms. And while many will tell you to have button-down tops for nursing, I prefer the tank and flowy cardi-type look and it works just fine for nursing. I'm thinking I get a new set from Joe Fresh in a black will be the way to go.

2. Slippers: You still need to pack fluffy comfy

socks (dude, hospitals get cold) but when you're up and walking ar

ound, you'll want slippers. The last time I went to the hospital in Crocs. I had no choice. You know the term canckles? Well I had thighkles. And for a long time after giving birth too. Crocs were all

I fit. Shoe karma is a bitch. Seriously. So if you're there, no worries, but how excited am I that this time I could

actually fit into these little velvet slipper from Banana Republi

c? On sale for $30! They will make me happy when I'm home too.

3. Things that make my skin dewy: I am not advocating for make-up during labour. That's unrealistic. But you do get all dry. You're not really supposed to drink anything which is ridiculous and makes you feel all pruney. So a good moisturizer and a hydrating lip-gloss is the way to go.

4. Stuff for my hair: First, to the extent that I'm able to control the actual date I have my baby (and now that I've said this out-loud, I do realize I've totally jinxed that), Ill try and get my colour done as

close as possible to my due date. I didn't do this the last go-around and by the time I was actually physically able to leave the house with Archer to go get this done, I had a good full inch of grey at my roots...lovely and awesome for the self-esteem. Second, I'm going to practice doing a good braid prior to the date. I think that and a headband (you really want your hair out of your face) during actual labour is the way to go. Here are some inspiration shots. Granted they're from the runway and not a labour and delivery room but I'm sure I'll feel just as glamorous as they did during the time if I do all of this, right?

:)