That moment...

...when you get your first post-mat leave invite to a mandatory evening work event and you realize you won't see your little one to bed that night.

:(

My Week Off

This was totally going to be my outfit this week...

What would you do if you had a real week off?

I'm not talking a family vacation. I'm talking a week off where you have the days to yourself, without kids, without spouse, with the comfort of knowing your kids are in good hands. Where you know you'll get cuddle time at the end of the day and you have the security of knowing you have a (good) job to go to at the beginning of next week.

The possibilities are endless, really -- which is why I chose to have such a week off when I set Isla's first day of daycare date (this week) and my back to work date (next week). In my head, the week would be full of "me time". And really, mamas, deserve a little "me time" after mat leave. We really should be at a spa for 24/7 with a martini in one hand (ok, I would like a beer) and a good book in the other, while someone is, like, rubbing our feet and giving us pedicure or some such.

We deserve it.

My week off? All I really wanted was a little nap time and some yoga classes (and hey, did you hear Track Fitness is having free yoga classes all week to celebrate its re-opening). At the end of the week, I wanted to see a few movies at TIFF. Daytime movies (with popcorn) are my idea of decadence.

SO WHY IS MY DAYTIMER SLAMMED FULL OF APPOINTMENTS THIS WEEK?! (and bigger question, why do I still use a daytime?!)

Today was insane. In addition to a late toddler wake-up, we waited at home for an hour for him to go to the potty (potty training time...weeee!). I checked Isla's going to school bag a hundred times, constantly adding another little thing that would remind her of home (Sophie La Giraffe) or me (family pics). And then we had the Isla drop off (took longer than expected), an Archer appointment (for over 2 hours), then an overdue lunch with a friend/colleague (which was nice, don't get me wrong), then rushed home to pump because, remember, I didn't wean?!, then I answered like 300 emails that came from all over the place, and then I ran to Loblaws to make sure my children don't starve to death and then I had to pick up Isla from daycare.

And you know what? Tomorrow looks about the same. More appointments, paperwork, more commitments.

Bah.

But such is life and the reality is that I had to jam in a bunch of these appointments this week because who knows what madness awaits me when I am faced with the reality of 2 full-time working parents and 2 kids next week. Will I ever get a workout in? Will I turn grey because I have no time to get my hair coloured? Will I turn into one of those crazy people with super long curly nails because I can never fit in a manicure?

Or will I realize that NONE OF THIS IS IMPORTANT in the big scheme of life, these are not real problems and by all accounts, this phase will end faster than we could ever imagine.

Besides... right now? I'm blogging (fun), watching Mission Impossible 3 (kinda lame) and eating popcorn (delicious). Life ain't that bad on my week off after all.

How to be super duper prepared for daycare...and other lies

Nobody asked Isla what she thought about this whole daycare business

Today was sorta Isla's first day of daycare. Well, it was her first 3 hours of daycare, while I had a relaxing lunch with a colleague (I feel you judging me...).

And in my usual planny-ways, I was set. Isla was set. Two weeks ago I put together everything she needed to have at daycare: diapers, wipes, hats, change of clothes, etc.. I put together a little "chore list" of what I would do (me: drop off, kids' breakfasts) and what my husband would do (him: pick up, coffee the night before) once the reality of getting 2 kids in daycare was in full swing. I cooked 24 meals in an hour and a half at Supperworks so our first month would go smoothly and we wouldn't revert to pizza and Swiss Chalet (unless we wanted to, of course). I begged and successfully convinced in-laws to visit to help out for the first couple weeks while we settled in to our new routine.

We. Were. Set.

Except this. Isla is not even close, not even a little bit, to being weaned. Heck, she's maybe had 6 oz of formula in her whole life. And sleep? Although she has a regular(ish) nap at 9 and 4, the mid-day nap is elusive. If it happens, I don't know how it does. Usually we're in the car on the way home from something or out strolling.

And that reality hit home when I arrived back at the daycare today to a SCREAMING Isla in the arms of Sarah, an experienced daycare worker, who was trying, in vain, to give her a bottle. Isla was not happy.

I immediately swooped up Isla and started nursing her in a chair close to a sign on the door of the sleep room that explained how each baby should be put to sleep. It was very specific. For Sophie (names changed to protect the innocent), she should be rocked for a few minutes, and laid down in the crib with her soother. Jenny (side note: no one names their child Jenny anymore do they) could be given a bit of a bottle and a tummy rub. Rachel liked to sleep on her tummy with her stuffed bunny near by.

Isla's card was blank and that's when Sarah asked how we put Isla down for a nap.

Awkward silence ensued. I don't really know what I said. But if couldn't have been helpful in the least. Were other parents this together? Shame on me.

But Sarah, who I'm sure has seen at all, put me at ease. She talked about working together to figure out a routine; that it would be ok and Isla could still learn how to nap. And as she made some suggestions, Isla finished nursing and looked up at me and smiled in the way she usually does and her eyes closed for a little nap. She was on board with plan too.

Or at least that's how I like to interpret it. If she could talk, what she probably would have said, is "yeah mommy, I'll nap here just fine if you come about this time and nurse me to sleep."

The most brilliant clothing invention...EVER

NASA may have designed this tank it's so brilliant

Ok, am I the last person to know about this?

Today when I went to meet another lovely mama for lunch at Sherway Gardents, I decided to take a little stroll through Aritzia.

Next thing you know, I'm trying on pants (whatever, it happens). And a ridiculously stylish young sales girl brings me a silk tank to try on with said pants -- you know, that Aritzia-silk that is *so compatible with infants and toddlers? Yeaah... anyway, I had to try it on because super stylish sales girl thought it would look brilliant with the pants. And I want super stylish sales girl to think I'm super stylish too.

Then as I'm standing in the mirror, holding everything in as much as I can as one usually does in front of a full length mirror, she starts fiddling with my bra strap and the tank. Awkward moment ensues until she declares "Oh, this tank has hidden loops that hold your bra straps in place."

DID YOU READ THAT PEOPLE?!

The most annoying clothing problem ever (apart from the button down shirt gap) solved! Just like that.

Check out the T. Babaton Silk Tank for $85 in all sorts of gorgeous fall colours.

Do you see her bra strap? I didn't think so

Downtown Baby

It's ok to buy this even if your baby has never been to T-B Park

While the National Post may have beat me to it, it's still worth bringing your attention to the must-have baby fashion item of the season before they're gone...ok, there's no such thing as a "must-have" baby fashion item (well, other than like onesies and stretchy leggings), but these are super cute and you should get one for the baby or toddler in your life.

Side note: I want you to know that keep starting blog-posts on important topics like motherhood and work and what I'm going to tell Isla about people like Todd Akin but truth is, I'm not a very good writer and have pretty much decided to leave it to folks like Nadine Silverthorne and Adina Goldman to  handle such topics as they do (read: Nadine and Adina, please write a story on how to talk to Isla about people like Todd Akin)

I'm a BIG fan of all things of the Toronto children's line, Mini Mioche and they do it again with their hipster baby and toddler statement shirts and bundler (and also be happy that you, like me, just learned a new fun term, bundler). Get 'em while you can!

Isla was "technically" from Parkdale, if you know what I mean

Friends don't let friends buy platform sneakers...

Hot or not?

In the next few weeks, I may be out shopping with you. It's an exciting time of the year for shopping -- fall fashion is in the air (thankfully, fall is not...).

Eluxe model. She looks hot. I will not.

When we are out shopping, I may raise the conversation about platform sneakers and whether I should buy a pair. They are, after all, all the rage right now... and when I look at sites like eluxe, I see pictures of cute models wearing said platform sneakers and think I can pull this look off - I mean, how practical, right? The comfort of a sneaker with the elongating elegance of a heel... 

DON'T LET ME DO IT!! 

I am not an eluxe model. And I am not 25. And I have calves that only a Ukranian baba could appreciate. It would be all sorts of wrong. And I will blame you if you let me do it.

You have been warned. As you were.

Just Because I Didn't Blog As Much, Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You Just as Much

Good Times With Isla

At the beginning of my mat leave this year, someone, somewhat condescendingly said to me, "You have no idea what it's like to take care of two kids"... you know, in that same way that people with even one kid, tell people with no kids, "You have no idea what it's like with kids"?

It's so freakin' annoying. And I do my darndest never to pull this card.

I remember also at the beginning of my mat leave, when it was really, really hard - when Isla didn't sleep, and Archer didn't sleep and Isla nursed ever 10 seconds (pretty much) and Archer was...well...a 2 1/2 year old... another parent of two telling me, "yeah, it gets better after 2 or 3 years...".

Wha?!?

Safe and Sound

Was this one of those other unspoken rules amongst parents that they don't tell you facts like this in advance of baby #2  -- in the same way that moms don't as a rule share the dirty details of physically having a baby (if you don't know, don't ask... you don't need to know...well, you do... but it's too fresh for me still so ask someone else)?

But it was really, really hard. In a way that I didn't experience with Archer alone. There were literally days (still are sometimes) where I would sit in one room in our house, for what seemed like hours on end, just like making sure one of the kids wasn't going to hurt themselves or the other, with Toopy and Binoo blaring on tv in the background and forgoing basic bodily functions like feeding myself or going to the bathroom.

This was not the Downtown Mama of a few years back where I'd hang out at cafes, have hours to make great food, wardrobe plan, hang with other cool mamas. This was akin to the hardest boot camp ever - like that crazy military-style boot camp they just did in Barrie (why do people voluntarily do those things by the way?). I was one Tough Mudder.

BFFs

On top of this all I was stressed about work, I was stressed about some stuff we're going through personally... it was tough y'all. And as such, I didn't feel much like blogging - never mind the fact that any time I now pull out a computer in front of Archer he grabs it from me so he can surf the Treehouse and Nick Jr websites.

But in the last few weeks the cloud has been lifting - and things haven't been so hard. Isla sleeps really well - has been for a while. The work stuff is sorted and I start something really great in a couple weeks. I have even learned to love those crazy little guys Toopy and Binoo (they keep Archer happy and therefore mama happy).

So I wanted to write this for you Isla, to let you know that just because I didn't blog like I did when I was on mat leave with Archer, doesn't mean that in actual fact my time alone with you has been amazing.

And even though I didn't write about it, we did a *lot of fun things.

Fine, I want this outfit too.

We did a crazy trip to Winnipeg with Archer in March (just the 3 of us which will demonstrate just how insane I was at the beginning of my mat leave), we rocked out at Rainbow Songs, we found super cool new baby hang out places like Smock Cafe in Roncesvalles, we hung out with other friends on mat leave, we made 24 meals in an hour and a half at Supperworks with Gigi (must write a separate post about this later) and just today, we bought *the cutest back to school... (well, not "back to school"... just "to school")... outfits for you at Joe Fresh (babies need motorcycle booties, right?).

And even though things were sometimes hard - and maybe they will be for a while for other reasons -- your smile lights up my life and I look forward to all of the other great things we're going to do together  in the years to come.

Birthday Party Pooper

Where we're not having Archer's birthday....this year

This is a big birthday year for Archer. He's turning 3.

Or is it a big year? I mean, in the big scheme of life, is 3 a year we celebrate as a major milestone? Trying as hard as I can, I have *no idea what I did for my 3rd birthday. Was this the year my parents brought a pony to my backyard for pony rides - for realz - Fyi, not a good idea: I thought that the pony was my birthday present and the day DID NOT END WELL. Or was the 3rd birthday the year we went to McDonald's (hands up if you all had a McDonald's birthday but for the life of you, can't recall a recent birthday at McDonald's).

As I am about to turn 40, universally regarded to be a milestone birthday, I've been thinking a lot about how we celebrate our children's birthdays and whether they really are for them or for us?

We've recently started the birthday party circuit. Those with older kids will tell you that at a certain point in their child's life, almost every weekend has one or more birthday parties in the schedule.

And I'm not complaining. I'm really not. It's actually pretty fun to watch the little ones run around, having fun, stuffing themselves with delivery pizza and cake. I'm not even judging parties at those indoor play centres  - you know the ones with the indoor gyms and parachute games, etc.. At some point, I have decided that if you really love your child, you need to be prepared to park your cool at the door.

But thinking that I found the perfect compromise of fun and cool this year, I planned and just today cancelled plans for a birthday party brunch at the Gladstone Hotel. The Gladstone has this great Family Brunch on Sundays. The food is yummy, fast and cheap and there is good Bluegrass Music for the little ones to groove to. It's like the Dakota Brunch but brighter and with more crazy hipster kids running around. We went about a month ago and we were set -- this is where we'd have Archer's birthday. Our friends would love it, we could afford it and Archer would think we were awesome.

Or would he? I started to have my doubts the second time we went to the Gladstone brunch. This time, for whatever reason, the music seemed a little louder and Archer seemed to be a little less interested in the band and the food and more interested in the cool old elevator at the hotel. But I ignored my sneaking suspicion.

Until today when I realized that he is *only turning 3. It's a big year for sure but I think it's because it's a  big year for us, the parents. It's another year to remember how happy we are about being Archer's parents and to celebrate having Archer in our life, but this day ain't about us. And sometimes it's hard to remember that and so, when I focus on what Archer would really really want for his birthday, I'm pretty sure it would be a fun day with his family, full of a trip to the park, a ride in the car, a guitar song from his dad and maybe a piece of cake. When he gets a wee bit older, it might be a indoor playground or the Gladstone Brunch but so far, he hasn't mentioned either of those options...

How Being a Control Freak Helps Me Stay Sane

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been my usual bloggy-self as of late.

Although I'm not ready to spill details, not sure I ever will, the last few weeks I feel like some force has been messing with my happy little life. There is a lot going on personally, professionally and almost all of it is entirely out of my control.

And that's completely pissing me off.

My husband has remarked in the sweetest way he can that I've been going a little crazy lately. I go from one thing to the next - I talk about moving (again), should we buy a new sofa, should we wallpaper a wall or hang art, what should we do for my birthday (the big 4-0), what should we do for Archer's birthday (the big 0-3), should we start gardening (how nice is this weather btw?!?), does he like my hair with our without bangs. If I were him, I would have totally divorced me by now.

But today I had a bit of an epiphany about it all (trying hard not to use the term "a-ha moment" - but really that's what it is, damn you Oprah). My craziness is my inadvertent attempt to gain some control over my life which is not so much in my control right now. My other revelation today though was that this uber-planning is actually a really good survival mechanism in times when life feels a bit out of control. Control what I can control, and let those bigger forces at work do their thing.

Only problem is, all my current attempts at planning are super expensive (like $2000 pieces of art, glamorous 40th birthday parties, surprise Justin Bieber appearances at Archer's birthday, rare tropical plantings in the garden...).

But really when I look back at this blog, one of the things I really enjoyed during my mat leave with Archer was planning a bunch of little things - like what I was going to do each day - even if it was a walk around the park, or what we were going to eat every night, what I'd like to wear. They are little things that barring a sleepless night or sick toddler, I can count on. Lately, though, I've forgot about this winning formula and I let a bunch of things out of my control dominate my headspace.

No more. Tonight I've made a meal plan for the week (Brie/mango quesadillas, apple pork chops, homemade pizza, an arugula pesto pasta and a night of sushi take-out) and I'm working on an activity plan which I hope will include a visit with a close friend, a walk around High Park on one of these gorgeous days and a baby-mommy yoga class.

And I have to tell you that as soon as I started making these lists, I started to relax a little... actually a lot. Will it last? Can it help me overcome the "big" stuff? Time will tell... but this seems like a good plan for now. If it doesn't, I'm going back to planning the biggest, most expensive, double birthday celebration you've ever seen.

And you'll all be invited. I promise. :)

Baby Spa Day

Ahhh... so relaxed.

Today, if you're spouse or significant other is so inclined, you may have received some sort of gift certificate to a spa - maybe you need a pedi/mani, maybe a facial, and most decadent, maybe a massage.

But, I'm here to tell you that if you really love your significant other, you should forgo said gift certificate and treat your new baby to the spa day... well, not a spa day... just a massage.

Yes, us modern families have all lost our minds.

Or have we?

You've all read my struggles with trying to get Archer to sleep through the night and so, when I saw some early indications that Isla may be just like her brother in more ways than just her big cheeks and adorable-ness (that's a word), I panicked and took action.

I had read a little about craniosacral therapy for babies who had colic. I'm not sure if Archer had colic, or if Isla has colic. The more I read about colic (and there is a *lot out there), the less I'm even sure what it is. But what I do know is that on many nights so far, Isla is clearly struggling with gas or intestinal discomfort. That struggle leads to crying, the crying leads to no sleep for her and then no sleep for any of us. It's not fun, people.

Today, on Valentine's Day, Isla had a craniosacral massage by the lovely Alison Black at Evolve Chiropractic on Roncesvalles (who also give the *best pregnancy massages btw). It was a relaxing short 15-minute session in which Alison gently massaged Isla's spine, neck and head (I can't emphasize how gentle this was - really more like touching).

Seconds before the snoozing started.

During the session, Alison also gave me some good tips about how to help Isla when her tummy is upset. She bought me how to do an "I Love You" tummy massage (I link to a video on how to do it here). And she also showed me some leg movements that I had read about but until you see it done, you're never quite sure if you're doing it right. Both treatments came with the word of warning that such massages can have immediate and shocking results - I'm not going to go into details - but the words "projectile" and "poop" were used in the same sentence. 'Nuff said.

Thankfully, Isla, in her lovely Valentine's Day outfit, had no such disasters. But results seemed somewhat instantaneous... she fell asleep in the middle of the treatment and stayed asleep for 3 hours.

Will the positive results last? Only time will tell. Alison told me she's had mixed results. But today's treatment lasted long enough for my hubby and I to have as romantic a Valentine's Day lunch at Terroni as one can have with a toddler and a new baby.

And that, in an of itself, made Isla's spa day, well worth it.

Like Daughter, Like Mother..

And so it starts.

The other day I was out with Isla and someone I ran into asked if I purposely coordinated our outfits. Huh? What the heck was she talking about? But then I looked.

D'oh.

Me = my usual uniform: stripy tee, army cargos.
Isla = stripy onesie, army coloured leggings

Right. So while I didn't quite plan this, I suspect that this may be a common theme throughout
her life. I mean, I do it with my own super-styling mom. While I was growing up we shared clothes and from time to time, we have bought the same item of clothing. Case in point, for Christmas I bought her a leopard print cardigan from J. Crew (very French, not cougar-y at all) and I loved it so much that when I saw it on sale one month later, I bought one for myself.

And growing up, you could often see the Litz women wearing varying versions of the same look (with our unique accessories as evidenced by the Garfield stuffy I am sporting and my sister's E.T. - I'm pretty sure this trend could come back at any moment, fyi...).

Why not embrace this way of dressing? Little girl's clothing is so amazingly cute and cool, I can hardly stand it. So no wonder that I'm unconsciously ripping off Isla's great style. And in a way, I like looking to lines made for her for my inspiration rather than the other way around - when you have little girl's clothes inspired by women's fashion you end up with all of that overly glittery baby Baby Phat/Juicy Couture nonsense.

I would totally wear this.

For spring 2012, I'm seeing so much inspiration in Mini Mioche's Spring collection. Great feminine basics, mixing some of the (tolerable) pastel colours with neutrals.

Take the Mini twirly tiered skirt with grey tee. Interpreted for me, might be this floaty skirt and tee (could be stripy or grey like the inspiration pic) from J. Crew.

How about a comfortable yellow dress to take you through those hot summer days? Isla's is the Fresh Dress from Mini Mioche. Mine is from Old Navy.

And for those casual days, you might see Isla in this dandy henley tank (coming in spring) and grey leggings.

While I'm going to do my darndest to try and one day afford a beautiful look like this from Dealuxe.ca (I just missed an amazing WagJag Dealuxe deal that would have made this possible... gah!).

You're It! A Mom's Guide to Playdates

Archer has his own playdate with Isla down at her level. He rocks.

By Downtown Mama Mel


Playdates can be awesome, the perfect time to develop social skills, get support (or just out of the house), rant a bit, and maybe even make a friend or two. But getting one started? Totally intimidating. Here's how to do it.


Get all of DM Mel's super helpful playdate tips at iVillage.ca...

I've Forgotten How to Be a Parent...or I'm Too Tired. You Decide.

He should be in his bed, but we'll take what we can get when it comes to sleep!

This morning, early in the morning, I was watching an old episode of The Mom Show (now cancelled). Most of the show dealt with sleep... how to get your baby to sleep, the dangers of sleep deprivation for new parents, that sort of thing.

And ironically, I should have been sleeping instead of watching a show about sleep.

See, Isla was finally sleeping, which I pretty much thought would never happen last night. After a smiley day, she started sniffling... hey, a little cold, no big deal. But on top of that, she started showing signs of having a sore tummy.

Fast forward to 7pm and the cluster feeding commenced... by 10pm, she was all-out screaming bloody murder. This went on until 4am, with only about an hour and a half break for a nap (I'm totally not calling it sleep... it was a nap - for both of us).

At 4am, although she was a little fussy off and on, for the most part, at that point she slept until about 8am. Which raises the question, why wasn't I sleeping until 8am? Why was I up at 6am watching The Mom Show about sleep, cursing at the mom who apologetically shared that by 4 weeks, her baby was sleeping for 8 hours straight.

Have I shared with you that I never believe parents who claim this? 'Cause I totally don't. Don't refute me on this. It helps me not kill myself. Seriously (no, not seriously...).

But still, Isla was giving me a good stretch and here I was not sleeping along with her. I was not sleeping because I was looking for some nuggets in The Mom Show about how I could start making this sleep thing work because so far, there's no sign of this working -- and with one toddler who *just started sleeping through the night at about 2 1/2, I just can't imagine going this long again without sleep... I mean, really people... no good sleep again until I'm 43?? Really?

She is in her crib...will her eyes close? Only time will tell. Either way, she's super cute, right?

And you'd think I'd know better this being the second time around but these days I feel like I know nothing. Like all my parenting skills have disappeared. So I rely on what? Television. Judge if you will.

So what nuggets did I get from The Mom Show? There were lots, but none that seemingly applied to a family with 2 little ones. Let me demonstrate:

1. Early in the evening start a routine whereby you dim the lights, you give baby a quiet bath, play some lullabies -- well, you can't do that with a 2 1/2 year old unless you completely parent separately and one parent does all of this with the baby alone in a separate part of the house, away from the playing, the Treehouse, the occasional tantrum of the toddler.


2. At around 6 weeks, establish having the baby sleep in the crib in their own room -- well, Isla's room is next to the loud toddler room where he's awake a playing until like 9 and then after he's asleep, you're so darn tired from it all that the thought of walking ALL THE WAY to the other side of the floor is just too much to take.

3. Let baby learn how to settle themselves so don't go into their room at the first peep -- this is the slippery slope to "crying it out" which I could never do with Archer and I can't imagine this changing for Isla - although maybe I'll just be so darned tired from everything that I will.

So tonight as the end of the evening starts again... I'm looking at Isla in front of me in her bouncy chair... and wondering what to do. I *think that although Archer is doing his best Mickey Mouse Hot Dog Dance beside her, completely unaware that babies should be asleep by now, and he should help keep a quiet environment for her, I will *try nursing and *try putting her in her room in her room, in her crib. I will *try for the hour that I have until we have to get Archer to bed.

If it doesn't work, I'm totally giving up on setting a sleep routine for her. Not forever. Just for tonight.

That's all we can do, right?

I Interrupt This Blog To Bring You The Must Have Hat of the Year

All I can say is I wish I could knit.



As you were.

This Week At Dufferin Mall

So you all know my unhealthy obsession with Dufferin Mall.

Even though I don't really live near Dufferin Mall any more, I'm still managing to get there about once/week. Yes, it is possible that I'm weirdly nostalgic about the moderately dumpy mall where I spent my first out-of-the-house days with Archer... but really, when I think about it, it's not that. It's really about the fact that it is the most manageable place for a new mom to go. It hits a bunch of check-marks:

1. Plenty of parking/accessible by transit
2. Not too big and rarely too crowded (unless a weekend or around the holidays)
3. Grocery stores (and bargain ones at that - No Frills, Walmart)
4. A Babies/ToysRUs if you need baby supplies
5. Affordable retail like H&M, Winners and they now have a Gap Outlet

And later, when Isla gets little older, there is an Early Years Centre if we want to join a circle time or need to nurse.

So it's with this in mind, that I introduce my new weekly series to Downtown Mama...drum roll, please... "This Week at Dufferin Mall". As if you don't love it.

Love the stripy sweaters and high-tops

TWADM will feature my favourite little "find" in the mall - it could be the best deal *ever on something at one of the grocery stores, or a cute dress on sale or just some random weirdness - like the time a kiosk was selling baby UFC onesies - because, you need to know that.



My first instalment of TWADM, is an exercise in selflessness... it's for Archer.

Archer probably would have preferred blue

Spring has arrived at H&M and you may have seen their campaign around the 10 Spring Essentials. It's great. Affordable must-have pieces for S/S 2012. And they also have one for kids and it's adorable. The boys line is reminiscent of J. Crew's more pricey kids line and feature skinny jeans and trousers in bright colours like the cobalt blue pair above. They're paired with equally vibrant graphic tees and stripy light sweaters. I also love the little boy high tops. Sooo cute. I bought Archer one of the hot pink boys tees and grey skinny pants.  He will either love me or hate me for the hot pink tee but I will take total advantage while I can.

And nothing is over $12.95. Check it out.

Bootie Call

I'm way over-due for some more postings but it's been busy!

This week marks my first full-week post-birth without help from family. For all of you who complain about your family all "up in your business" and not giving you space, I have no sympathy. Our parents are thousands of miles away (actually, is Winnipeg thousands or hundreds of miles away... why don't I know this - either way, it's far y'all) and it pains me terribly every time they leave us or we leave them. Yes, I'm the only person in the world sad when they leave Winnipeg.

Not sad enough to move back there, but still pretty weepy.

So first things first about this posting, appreciate your family if they're close to you. But most importantly for this post, if you can't have your family close, you may as well have new shoes. That makes sense, right? I thought so.

I've become a big fan of CBC's Steven and Chris during this mat leave. And on a recent show, their uber cool style expert Erica Wark, did a segment on spring looks for under $100. It was great, but in that weird way my brain works, a particular item... these booties from H&M (also featured in the middle picture above), for an alleged $14.95 (!!) stayed with me in the same way that the final scene from Lars Von Triers' Melancholia stayed with me (hey, like I said, my brain works in weird ways). I obsessed and so just as soon as my family left me and Isla alone, off I went on my journey to find the perfect shoe.

And for me, right now, these are kinda the perfect shoe: affordable, practical, versatile, and... hot.

But my journey ended in sadness (sadness being a completely relative concept you understand).

I went to 3... count 'em...3... H&Ms and no dice. 2 said they never got them at all and the big Eaton Centre store said they left as soon as they came in the store. Said the insightful salesperson, "I think they were like cheap or something...". Yeeeahh....

On my way out of the mall, however, I walked by Ardene. You know Ardene, right? No? That's because you pass it all the time. It's not really meant for you - it's sorta meant for like tween girls. It's one of those cheapy accessories stores. But on said segment on Steven and Chris, Erica pointed out a number of great little finds from Ardene, so I thought, what the heck.

What the heck, indeed. Check out not only a good representation of the perfect bootie, but also a super cute pair of spring python flats - both for $20 (like, together). What?! Yeah. Are these the best quality shoes in the whole world? No. Will my feet somewhat smell after wearing them for the day? Probably. But for $20, I'm willing to get over that. So should you!

Sh*t #zombiemoms Say

Right before I went on mat leave, the Parenting Editor (the lovely Melissa Carter) for iVillage posted a story about some sort of new phenomena called the Zombie Moms.

I'm not going to lie, I didn't read it.

I saw the title and asked about it and someone in the office told me it was some sort of support group for new parents whose babies weren't sleeping through the night (read: every single parent who ever lived). But I didn't read it. I mean, my baby, my new baby, was going to be one of those sleeping babies. I didn't need no stinkin' support group.

Boy, was I wrong.

Dealing with a baby at 3am can be a lonely thing. Even if your partner is in bed beside you, even if they're a supportive spouse who brings you your baby, chances are, within 5 minutes, they're dead asleep in dreamland while you're wondering if you'll ever sleep again (the answer is no, not really but anyway...).

It was during one of these times, that, all of a sudden, I remembered something about this Zombie Moms article and I wondered... so I reached for my blackberry (which never ever leaves my side, btw) and while nursing, opened Twitter and typed #zombiemoms.

And all of a sudden, I wasn't alone. There, online, were tens of other moms with me, not sleeping. Sharing their thoughts, stresses, with some of the more seasoned moms, offering support.

Some highlights from last night:

- "Kid didn't fall asleep until after 8, now totally and inexplicably awake since 2am"
- "Currently: trying desperately not to lose my mind"
- "Got a nice 4hr stretch. Nursing and hopefully he settles again tonight... At least for a couple hrs"
- "And I'm still up with the baby. She is so cuddly, which I LOVE but I'm sooooo tired. I keep nodding off." [I totally do that!]
- "Freaking out. Baby is still awake, fed, changed, burped. Yet he's still screaming at the top of his lungs. Going on 1 hr."

Like I said, there is more than just complaining (although really it's just great to know you're not the only one). Last night, there was advice given about using a sleep-sack, a discussion about favourite lullabies, and a suggestion everyone get on Skype to chat (so I guess we all could see how desperate we all look at 3am?). If incorporated a martini into the chat, it would almost be like we were all out for a night on the town...

Almost. :)

The First Date (Playdate, that is)

I am a toddler and as such, will ignore you.

By Downtown Mama Mel


We know our days are numbered with being in complete control of our boys’ social calendar. It won’t be long before our toddler and infant are old enough to have their own friends that we have neither hand-picked nor pre-arranged for them to spend time with. The play date, then, is as much about the parents as it is the kids. And we will milk it for as long as we can.

My husband found a potential play mate for our toddler at one of our local parks this summer. Our boys seemed to get along well in the wading pool and the daddies succeeded in supervising the little ones while also engaging in small talk that actually, gasp, covered topics other than just parenting. Can you imagine?

So some e-mail tag and a few months (err, seasons?) later the Downtown Daddies were able to book a play date for our boys at our house. Jittery from too much coffee and nearly eight months of not enough sleep (our baby was born in May- do the math) my mind was reeling with the play date possibilities. What if our toddlers don’t get along?

But then reality set in. Of course they won’t get along. They’re toddlers. That’s what toddlers do: they switch back and forth from parallel play, which is basically ignoring one another, to snatching toys that are only deemed play-worthy because someone else is holding it at that moment.

And that’s basically what happened. In a ninety minute play date the boys went from ignoring each other while playing outside in the snow to ignoring each other while playing with cars and trains to snatching toys from each other for no apparent reason. There was one tumble on the stairs, two timeouts, three squeals, and a large number of words of encouragement about ‘sharing’ uttered from each of the adults. The parents managed to squeeze in a chat and have a few sips of coffee before it got cold.

All in all a success, don’t you think?


- stay tuned for Mel's tips on how to throw a successful playdate

The Wow-This-Day-Turned-Out-Better-Than-I-Thought Day

By Downtown Mama Mel

This looks cold but DM Mel claims it was a ton of fun

I’m not the most organized mother out there. I don’t know what I’m making for dinner yet tonight and the fridge is getting bare, I have bins in my bedroom of clean, folded laundry from three days ago that’s not yet put away and I have yet to book a hair appointment for myself as a cut and color are so direly needed that my strategic comb over to hide the gray in my hair is no longer successful.


Some days I do get organized and things can run so smoothly- like when I have healthy and tasty snacks for mamas and toddlers laid out on my favourite party tray before guests arrive. Or that one time I had an extra pair of socks on that my toddler needed to borrow (long story). Or when I actually wash, fold AND put away the laundry.

But Friday was not one of the days. I was expecting the day to be a disaster. I’d been up for hours and had fed the boys but hadn’t had breakfast yet myself. A friend was dropping in whom I hadn’t seen in months and my only meal plan for the day was to remove the blue box of ‘emergency pasta’ from the cupboard and sigh deeply while feeding us all suspiciously and shockingly orange macaroni.



But my friend showed up and the sun was shining and we loaded the boys up in the stroller and went out for lunch. And it wasn’t a disaster! Well, maybe for the server (who was lovely and patient) but not for us. One glass of water spilled, a few noodles on the floor, a sleeping infant in one arm, eating one-handedly, a toddler dipping a salad roll into a dish of peanut sauce WITHOUT spilling it. And some adult conversation peppered with a lot of “Mommy? Mommy?”s. My friend not only picked up the tab (Thanks, J!) but also helped dress the boys in their winter gear and roll us out onto the sidewalk well fed and content.

Will asked to go to the park so to the park we went. It was strange that on such a beautiful day no other children were playing there but it was fun having the park to ourselves. Markus and I watched Will run and play and slide and laugh. We left only because we started to get a little cold.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned being a parent, no day ever goes as you imagine it. That can be a good thing.

Your Yummy Tip for the Day

I don't know what you were like when you're nursing but I literally can't eat enough. You think you had cravings and ate a lot when you were pregnant? Well you ain't seen nothing until you're nursing. I literally feel like I might be starving to death if I don't have a snack near-by at all moment of the day.

Unfortunately, until now, my snacks haven't always been super healthy.

But today, I bought these Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips from No Frills and like pretty much everythingng else the "President" chooses, this is a total hit and will become my snack of choice for the near future. They are relatively low calorie and claim to have actual sweet potatoes in them. With a good salsa, delish. Now you know too.

Of course, on the same trip to No Frills, I also bought THE MOST DELICIOUS COOKIES YOU'LL EVER EAT - the Candy Cane "oreo" from President's Choice. We got them at the office during the holidays and I promptly went to Loblaws and bought my own box. When I went back to get more, they were sold out. I literally looked high and lo in every Loblaws or Superstore I went to and came up empty.

Until today. When I bought 5 boxes at like $2/box. I will attempt not to eat them all in one sitting, but can make no actual promises. I'm not going to tell you which No Frills I found them at for fear that you'll clean out my one known supplier. But go crazy on the Sweet Potato Tortilla chips. They're everywhere.

Hey, all's fair in love and cookies, right?

How to Have a Social Life (and Not Neglect Your Children)

This is not Mel's family but they could be friends...erm, maybe not.

By Downtown Mama Mel

Allow me to introduce you to my family: one Downtown Mama heading back to work, one Downtown Papa (hmm, ‘Downtown Daddy’ sounds better, no?) starting four months of parental leave with one Downtown Toddler and one Downtown Baby. 

Our goal is achieve and maintain an active social life as a family that is (in theory) enjoyable and eventful for all four of us.

I am in the final week of my final maternity leave and baby #2, Markus, is just shy of eight months old. I’ve not yet weaned him nor is he anywhere near sleeping through the night so shouldn’t I be freaking out right now instead of starting a blog?

Nope. You know why? It’s baby #2.

With baby #1 every single moment, change, challenge, bump, illness and milestone is recorded, discussed, researched and verified. As first time parents in our (late) thirties and without any family members in the same province as us we relied on parenting books, the internet and an extremely helpful mother’s group to figure out our exciting and frightening new roles as parents. I remember that with our first son, Willem (who is now almost 3 years old) we were stressed out about whether or not to vaccinate for the H1N1 flu and that it seemed that with all new parents we knew at that time that this ‘monumental decision’ would determine whether or not a child would survive the winter. (Shudder). I also recall having Willem on the waiting list for a daycare from before he was born (which is normal practice!), calling them every month or two to ensure he was still ‘on the list’ and then discovering one week before he was to start daycare that they ‘forgot to transfer his name onto the new list’ and that they would not have a spot for him for two more months. I had six business days to find him a full time daycare spot.

In the end everything worked out: our children all survived the winter and Willem thrived in a home daycare that he still attends today. In hindsight the extra stress and tears served nothing but to make me look just that much older.

Baby #2 is a different story:

• Baby #1 has always had the undivided attention of one or even two parents.

• Baby #2 will never experience the undivided attention of one or two parents.

• As needy as a newborn is your toddler will instantly become needier.

• Your newborn will survive a few extra minutes in the crib calling out for you. Your toddler who has run into another room and then is eerily and uncharacteristically quiet? He needs you post haste!

• Baby #1 has already exhausted your supply of micro-management skills. You no longer have the time nor the resources to focus on the minutia with Baby #2.

• Baby #2 receives a lot of stimulation joining you, via a sturdy sling, as you chase after Baby #1.

• Baby #1 will provide a lot of attention to Baby #2. Just make sure it’s supervised. A brotherly hug can, and does, turn instantly into a headlock.

I have learned that babies are resilient. They are learning and growing every second right in front of our eyes, whether our eyes are actually directed at them or not.

With baby #2 I sometimes worry that I don’t worry enough. But then I get too busy and I forget to even worry about that.

So join us, if you will, as we share our Downtown Family adventures with you in this blog and learn How to Have a Social Life (and Not Neglect Your Children).

Downtown Mama Mel Knows Stuff

How Isla and I are feeling these days

This last week has been rough y'all.

I think I sort of forgot what this stage was like. You're kinda in a honeymoon period for like the first 2 weeks. All your baby does is sleep, nurse and cuddle. You usually have family and spouse around to help with everything, people are bringing you food and gifts. It's pretty much Norman Rockwell perfect.

And then the crying starts. And sometimes doesn't stop....for months.

It's too soon to say if Isla has colic. When Archer was 3 weeks he started crying loudly and for what seemed like a long time and we were TOTALLY FREAKED OUT. Would it end? What was happening? Why did he hate us so much? We started playing the game all new parents play - Let's Try and Read our Baby's Mind.

It goes something like this:

"Do you think he's hungry?" husband asks.

"No, I just fed him. Maybe he's cold?" wife responds.

"Hmm, I'm actually pretty warm... maybe he's overheated," husband adds.

"He's really scrunching his fists - he probably has gas."

"He could be overtired. We should have told people to leave earlier - he got overstimulated."

"Have you changed him in the last hour?"

"Yes, but we should probably check again."

Said conversation is all happening over the screams of your little one who is probably just getting totally frustrated by how clueless you both are and why you, the supposed "grown-ups," just can't figure this out and make it better.

For Archer, the phase really only lasted for 2 weeks but it was a looong 2 weeks. I'm going to remain optimistic that with Isla, this will also be a short phase. But there is always that fear that you could have a colicky baby and it could last for months. I have a whole new level of respect for those parents who endured this for that level of time. You are good people.

So it was partly this reason and partly because I find her so darn funny and insightful that I asked my mama buddy, Melanie, to start writing for this blog. Who knows when I'll come back up for air!

We have a lot to learn from Mel. She has a 3 year old, an 8 month old and is always freakin' smiling and being funny. She and her hubby are always on the go, doing all sorts of cool things in the city with kids in tow. It's pretty annoying actually. But it makes me think that we can all learn from her. And she's on her way back to work which makes her story even more interesting I think.

Her first post follows this. So read on and enjoy. I need to stop this posting stat, which I have only been able to do because Isla is finally sleeping peacefully. Off to nap and possibly prepare for another long night ahead of us!

60% Sale Nursing & Maternity Wear - Evymama

June & Dane Nursing Top

I was never the kind of pregnant mama who could retrofit non-maternity clothing and make it work for my pregnant body. When I was pregnant with Archer, there were hardly even maternity clothes that would fit me by the end - I blew-up like a puffer-fish. It was lovely, let me tell you.

To give you a sense of how big I got, in the first week post-pregnancy I lost 40 lbs That's like a 5 year old child -  and I wasn't even half way done losing what I gained.... And if that weren't bad enough, all the weight was in my legs. Brad lovingly coined a new term just for me. Thighkles - like canckles but with your thighs. Hot.

And with Isla although I avoided Michelin Man proportions, I "popped" really early and so needed to move quite quickly to maternity.

Dote Nursing Tee

I envied some of my first time mama colleagues who just had a little belly and as such, could through on an oversized sweater or tunic and leggings and call it a day. But I lived because I was happy with the maternity alternatives I found for myself.

I'm not sure what I think about clothing specifically made for the purposes of nursing. I feel like it's a bit weird having strategically placed slits on clothes and not sure it really adds an extra level of modesty - although they are usually made so you avoid ever having to expose your belly. I'm pretty much ok letting anyone get a glimpse of side boob right now - they're completely utilitarian right now as such, cannot really be the source of embarrassment for me.

However, I will do *anything to avoid exposing my belly right now. I know, I know...I should wear my extra skin and flab with pride, but I'm not that person. And for this reason alone, I may take a look at some of the options at the Evymama sale, where most of their nursing and maternity options are 60% off right now.

I quite like the looks of the above grey top, regular $68 from June & Dane. I also like this little white tee from Dote at $78, regular price.

The topic of a future posting, dresses, which I love, can be a total pain when you're nursing (think about it - how are you getting access without getting all Lindsay Lohan on everyone?) - so a nursing dress may make the most sense of all. When I drop a little more weight, I think this Dote Harlow Dress, regular $108 might be pretty awesome for spring walks with Isla (ooh, we could do matching looks...side note: yaay, a girl!). I really like the black version too.

Evymama has two locations in Toronto - one in Bloor West Village and a new location on the Danforth. They also have a great online store and ship to the rest of Canada. Web customers use the code, TreatMyCloset at check-out.

Chilling Out, Baby Style

Isla hanging inside on a rainy cold day

You'd think coming from Winnipeg I'd be tougher.

When I was a kid growing up in the 'peg (please not "Winterpeg", Torontonians - you always use this term with Winnipegers, like we've never heard it before  - fyi, we have and we still don't think it's particularly clever or funny), cold or wet weather would never phase us.

7AM Enfant Bunting Bag

For the most part, unless the cold would actually kill you (which actually could happen on a few particular days in winter), you'd never hesitate to bundle up and get outside to play, skate, toboggan, whatever....


But today in Toronto, it's a wee bit cold and it's definitely wet and I'm totally pouting.

Do all Vancouver mamas have one of these?

Isla and I had big plans. Today, we were going to go for a nice long walk in our neighbourhood. I finally got her a good outdoor cover-up - this awesome piece from 7AM Enfant from Planet Kid in Roncesvalles (is it a coat or bunting bag? both! - top snaps off to be her coat when she's a little older *and someone way smarter than me actually thought to put a little slot in the bunting part for a car seat - brilliant). And I had a mission - go find high dose DHA supplements for myself at the corner health food store so Isla has the potential of having the biggest healthiest brain ever...

Pudge can teach me a lot about chilling

But said brain is going to have to wait a day or two to expand because while the cold doesn't bother me, the wet does. I mean, what do you do with a stroller and a baby and cold pounding rain?

Well, the answer for me and Isla today is not too much. Days like today become unscheduled nothing days.

It's good for such days to have some projects ready to go at home. For me, today involved the beginnings of cleaning out and organizing my post-maternity closet - I didn't get very far but the plans are in the works. Other ideas for future days like today could include the following:

1. Learn how to bake. I don't know about you, but baking never figured prominently in my working (outside the home) life. It sort of stresses me out with all its requirement for precision and prettiness but the outcomes are rewarding so well worth learning how to do this.

2. Organize cupboards. Our babysitter, Brad and I all have different rules when it comes to putting things away in the kitchen. And none of those rules are the same. Well, I'm taking control. I'm home so, for now, they are officially my cupboards. There will be a system. It will be my system. So there.

3. Work on thank you cards. I'm surfing Etsy and some other sites for some more creative solutions to thank you cards. I kinda like this idea...but think I can do a wee bit better. So if you're wondering where your thank you card is, this is why. I'm aiming for perfection, people!

4. Figure out daytime television. I'll say it. I miss Oprah! And although I have OWN, there's not enough Oprah on OWN to make up for missing my 4pm Oprah.  And there are all these new and not so good shows - The Chew is one that is pretty awful and I can't believe The Doctors still exists. It's super annoying. But I think I may be in love with Anderson Cooper. I would like to tell CTV, however, that they need to move Anderson to 4pm. Archer gets home at 5pm and then it's all Treehouse all the time.

5. Learn how to be happy just chilling. Not surprising to those who know me, this is *really really hard for me. But having a baby in the middle of winter - and having a second baby so you're even more extra tired, makes learning to chill a necessity  - something a seasoned and smart mom of two reminded me of yesterday when I was complaining about being a little bored. It's rare in life when you're actually allowed to do nothing. And even rarer still when you are able to do nothing with someone you love so deeply. This definitely will be top of the list for our next unscheduled nothing day. I can't wait.