Perfecting The Art of Doing Nothing

As If You Don't Want to Do Nothing with Her

Today Isla is 1 week and 2 days old. Right now she's finally sleeping on her own in her crib. Pretty much every other minute she's been home she's been in either my or my husband's arms (with the occasional cuddle from the grandparents). And, oh yeah, she's is totally textbook when it comes to nursing. Every 2 hours, without fail. It was like she was born knowing how to do it. My boobs on the other hand... oy. Too much information, right (must remember, work colleagues read this...)?

Anyway, although all of this cuddling is admittedly a little boring - particularly when you end up making crappy movie choices while cuddling (just finished The Green Hornet - can anyone explain to me, btw, why Seth Rogan is ALWAYS YELLING??), the thing that I know now, that I didn't know with Archer, is that this perpetual cuddle time in these early days, when you can do nothing but watch tv or chat with whoever is around, is so temporary. Soooo short.

So while I'm complaining a lot about other things (like the fact that I'm always needing someone to get me a drink or a cookie (diet comes later), or that I'm cold, or that I literally cannot find a nursing cover on the internet that doesn't have flowers on it), the fact that we are doing nothing this week, and that all I can do is hold Isla, is not one of the things you'll hear me complain about.

All this being said, there are some things you can do while doing nothing, if you're properly set-up. Here are my must-haves:

1. Blackberry must be in reach at all times. I'm not sure I could manage an iPhone one-handed (a necessity while nursing), I've never tried really, but I love having my blackberry close at hand. On said blackberry, I am constantly checking in on Facebook and Twitter for useless bits of information. I feel like all of you should take it quite seriously that your status updates and tweeting makes me very happy and entertained. I get to live vicariously through Flare editor @Lisa Tant and her glamorous life, and laugh at @AmandaFactorOMG musings on veganism and rom coms on Netflix.

2. Snacks. On a shelf beside my nursing chair right now, I have a little bowl of pistachios. I like to mix this up with trail mix and I just bought dried pineapple and yogurt covered almonds. Yummers.

3. On-demand programming. I'm not going to make a plug for RogersOnDemand per se (which I should given my corporate affiliation) but it does make me pretty happy. If you can swing it, I highly recommend subscribe to The Movie Network with its rich OnDemand offering (despite its recent failings around the whole Green Hornet incident mentioned above).

4. Finally, most importantly My Brest Friend. My nursing pillow of choice for Archer and now for Isla. I love this thing. When I was having problems with mastitis with Archer and went to the infamous Jack Newman clinic they told me the pillow was creating bad habits. Making my nursing habits lazy. I feel so strongly about My Brest Friend and how much better it makes my life with baby that my relationship with Jack Newman ended then and there. And as much as they say it creates bad habits, other lactation consultants recommend it. Anyway, if you haven't decided what nursing pillow you're getting yet, I can't recommend it more.

So now we do nothing. But I am plotting. While we did make our first trip out yesterday - (woo hoo Loblaws!) - I am thinking of some post-cuddle time adventures. Will we go to that early family NYEs party we're invited to on Saturday? Can I make it to Sears to upgrade the Baby Bjorn Carrier I got for Christmas? Big questions, people!

But for now, they're just questions. Right now, it's time to get back to doing my favourite activity with my favourite girl.

Dear Archer

I wanted to write you a little note before the big day tomorrow - before your baby sister is born.

You are probably going to be a little mad at us at first and wonder what all the fuss is all about but I know one day soon, you are going to think this is all as cool and awesome as we do.

But before she comes home, I just want you to know how much we love you and how much joy and happiness you've brought to our lives since you were born to us 2 1/2 years ago.

You literally turned our lives around. We never thought we'd have you and when you came to us, never have we been so happy or grateful for anything. And even though there have been a ton of sleepless nights and some hard days here and there, having you as part of our family has been amazing and nothing that has brought us more bliss than you.

When I look back on the early days of this blog, I am reminded of how we travelled this journey together. I loved trying to figure it all out with you and as much as I have taught you, you have taught me much more -- how to be patient, how to work through impossible problems, how to enjoy day to day joys and at the risk of sounding too corny, how to love. And through it, we've had a lot of fun. As you get older, you won't remember this, but I will -- and I promise to do my best to show you my gratitude for this throughout your life.

It's early morning now, the day before you sister comes, and you're sleeping beside me in bed. Although it might be hard in the next few weeks, I promise you that there will be lots more mornings like this, lots more times to cuddle. The bed might just be a little more crowded!

We love you Archer and we can't wait to share in the next part of our journey with you.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

How to Nest - Downtown Mama Style

The final countdown is on. In less than 2 days, I will be a mom of 2 kids.

Ack.
There's a lot to do y'all!

Parenting experts talk about a "nesting instinct" that kicks-in near the end of your third trimester. It is described as some sort of biological or evolutionary function  that causes a mom-to-be to slightly lose her mind - stories abound (although I don't personally know any of these people) about women cleaning their homes top to bottom with a toothbrush and making enough freezable food to help a family survive a small world war or minor coup.

Like I said, I don't know anyone who "nested" like this. But if nesting does exist, I don't think it has anything to with biological or evolutionary reasons. Women just generally know that we have to get the shizz done. And it's super hard to do that before you finish working.

But now I'm "officially" done work and my nesting list is longer than I want it to be. Let me share (and hey, feel free to volunteer to take-up anything on this list):

1. Make a nesting list: Seems obvious enough but this speaks to how everyone's list is going to be different and you need to think about what has to be done. I will be focusing on things that I know are going to be hard to do with 2 little ones, particularly in the middle of winter. If it's your first baby, your list might look different than mine.

2. Schedule the "selfish" stuff: Trust me that before you have your baby, at the very least, you're going to want to get a hair cut and get your colour done. You will be pretty much house-bound for 6-8 weeks which may mean that you don't care about this, but think about that first day out...I'm also going to schedule a pedicure. Manicures are useless and borderline not helpful for a new baby. There is a lot of sucking that happens for that first little while and a lot of it is on your fingers. Keep your nails short and chemical free.

3. Pack your hospital bag: there are a fair number of lists out there that will help you do this but be sure to include some stuff in your bag that makes you feel good too  - lip gloss, nice lounge-wear/pjs, a pillow from home. And, of course, the cutest outfit *ever for your little one to come home in.

4. Fine, cook food: but let's not go crazy here and do it because you enjoy it, not because you feel like you should. People love giving and bringing food to new mamas. I bought these great Pyrex dishes at Walmart during my nesting phase with Archer and I still use them today. If you buy a few in a smaller size you can make a few bigger dishes and divide. Tomorrow, I plan on making this slow-cooker chicken pappardelle recipe the ladies at Sweetspot are raving about.

5. Get the nursery together: You really won't be using the nursery for 6-8 weeks because baby will be sleeping in your room. But again, in the spirit of doing what you can, when you can, it doesn't hurt to get the crib set-up, do (or rather, delegate) any painting that needs to be done -- (particularly important to do before baby to keep paint fumes away) and pack some drawers or a closet with your new baby essentials. Check-lists abound on what you need in those first few weeks. It's worthwhile getting your hands on one. Also be sure to do a once-over laundry of new (or used) baby clothes you're bringing in. New baby skin is super sensitive to everything so use a good all natural detergent.

6. Plan a "last dinner" with your girlfriends and a date night with your hubby: it's going to be a while before you get out of the house past 6pm so pick your favourite restaurant (preferably one with super comfy chairs - it's not fun to sit for more than 10 minutes at this stage of the game) and get your besties out with you to have a few laughs. Some mamas-to-be might even a glass of wine. I'm just saying. And I want to hit the movies with my hubby. Any recommendations?

7. Get your technology in order: You never know when you could go into labour. I feel like it could be happen at any second. Seriously. At this point in the game, make sure your (and your partner's) blackberry or iPhone is always fully charged and pack a spare charger in your hospital bag. Put together your email list for the birth announcement and make sure your camera's batteries are charged and you have enough memory to take the millions of pictures you will no doubt take in those first few days.

8. Nap, nap and then nap some more: who are all these nesters that have like unlimited energy at the end of their pregnancy? I don't know about you but I pretty much haven't slept through the night for a month. It's just too bloody uncomfortable. Turning from side to side is a monumental task that often results in you realizing mid-flip that you have to get up and pee. Totally annoying. So cat naps are the way to go. Do it when you can, where you can.

ok with that so long as she agreed to do everything on this list). Anyway, who can blame your little one for being a little cranky? So while I don't think I'll be able to particularly lessen the impact of the trauma of the actual day, I can show him just how much I love him with lots of pre-baby snuggling.

Hospital Gown By Marc Jacobs

Ok, not quite.

Am I the last person to know that there is such a thing as a designer hospital gown? And designer hospital gowns specifically made for new mamas?

Granted, I've already done a post on how to look hot (being an entirely relative term you understand) during your hospital stay and also granted, the hospital gown is the least attractive and possibly most humiliating piece of clothing ever invented, but a designer hospital gown? Really?!

People, it's a thing -- and I for one am slightly relieved that my obsessive 4am (whatever, I can't sleep anymore and have pretty much visited every other site on the internet at this point) search for a Toronto retailer who sells these has come up fruitless and I'm out of time to order one online.

I have no self-restraint. I know that.

Anyway, if you so desire, and you're not outta time like me, check out Gownies (added bonus that the name sounds like Goonies) which can be ordered online and seem to range from about $30 - $60. You can even get a matching pillow to go with your gown. Crazy? Or crazy awesome?

I won't judge you.

My Best Family To-Do Idea This Weekend

Brad and I are sort of obsessively trying to do everything possible with Archer before baby comes home next week. Although we live in the fabulous city, I admit in the past, we are pretty prone to laziness when it comes to enjoying all it has to offer. But we're well aware that our social-outings might be a little limited for the next little bit so we're trying everything...we're going to every park we can, we did a Santa breakfast at Casa Loma (mostly fun) and earlier this week we went to the Distillery District.

Most of you in Toronto know about the Toronto Christmas Market at the Distillery by now but have you been? You should and you only have until this Sunday to do so.

With our practically tropical-like weather (hello, Vancouver Christmas), there is no sledding, skiing or skating to get you in the holiday spirit. But even the biggest grinch will be converted by the beauty and magic that is the Market. Strolling carollers, a hedged maze leading to santa, reindeer, merry-go-round -- I've never seen the Distillery like this. Unbelievable.

And oh yeah, there's like amaaaazing food. Various forms of hot chocolate, melty grilled cheese sandwiches, lots of yummy deserts. And for the kid-free set, there are heated (not that we need it) outdoor beer markets.

We went on a weekday and it was easy to get parking and get around. I suspect that it's going to be crazy busy for the weekend. But it's crazy worth it.

My only question is why is it ending on Sunday??

If you're not having a baby a week before New Years Eve...

o

...then you have no excuse but to get yourself to Urban Outfitters and buy yourself one of the sassy party dresses they're displaying right now.

These pics don't really do the dresses justice, but they're pretty, sparkly and affordable.  Check out more inspiration (with better pics) at the Urban Outfitters website.

If I'm actually remotely awake, I will attempt to wear something like this for my NYS Eve festivities - picked by the lovelies at Sweetspot.

But I haven't seen midnight on NYs Eve for (...how old is Archer?) 3 years. So pressure's on you. Don't disappoint me!

Bringing Home Baby

Jacadi Floral Print Velour Suit

Is it wrong that I think of things like what outfit should new baby wear home from the hospital?

Don't answer that.

Whatever. I'm an over-planner and I feel more in control of a situation that I recognize is entirely not within my control if I *think I know what I'm doing. Clear as mud?

The reality is I'm pretty much out of time to do anything more than what I have to do between now and the big day next week. So my home-from-the-hospital-baby-wearing-plan is really more about surfing the internet while watching a PVR-ed "Once Upon a Time" (a show I'm probably going to give up on soon if you must know) than actually going out to actually shop for an outfit. And oh yeah, there's that small matter of IT'S LIKE IMPOSSIBLE TO DO ANYTHING NOW WITHOUT MONUMENTAL EFFORT.

Sigh...

But I share anyway...

I could go a number of ways with new baby outfit. There is the classic French "I could have been royalty" baby looks from high-end baby retailer Jacadi. Not cheap and entirely not practical. I mean, what baby really need a pea coat... really. But soooo pretty. I could see the top Velour Jumpsuit working out though.

Jacadi Cotton Knit Pea Coat

Jacadi Hand Embroidered Jumpsuit

And then I could go hipster-style. Archer's take-home outfit was from Mini Mioche, one of my favourite places for baby clothes and right now they've got these great zippy onesies that would be oh so comfy and I think I would use a lot after. But alas, they appear to be sold out of the sizes and colours I need right now.

Happy Romper from Mini Mioche

 I think I would settle on options from the Dwell Studio layette (a word I didn't really know before I had Archer) collection.

Gio Aqua Newbie Outfit

Gio Lemon One-Piece

Practical, comfortable, and most of all, adorable.

Hmmm... wonder if Dwell Studio can rush a shipment by next Wednesday.

My last maternity-wear purchase....ever.

What the heck am I doing buying anything new to wear like 3 weeks before I have a baby? I can't help it. It's a sickness. And it's holiday time, y'all. The prettiest dresses of the year are out right now and I don't want to miss out on the fun. So despite the fact that I can hardly walk from one side of a room to the other at this point, Archer and I made our way to Eaton Centre to pick up this little number... on a SATURDAY - AT EATON CENTRE -  3 WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.


Like I said, it's a sickness.


But there is one and only one place that I consistently find super cute and reasonably-priced maternity clothes like this dress: H&M. 


It's kinda crazy. Only Eaton Centre in Toronto sells H&M Mama (only store in all of Canada, I think) and there are literally only 3 racks of Mama clothes -- but in a way, this kind of rocks my world. It's sorta like having your own personal shopper. The wise fashionistas at H&M have made all the hard fashion decisions for you. It's like they've said, "Oh we could give you more choice, but you don't need it - this is all you need." I think I would like the rest of the store better if it was set up this way.


There's not much online on the Canadian H&M site (maybe because they don't sell it at other locations in Canada - sorry!) but if you wanna browse, check out the UK site. And for those who don't live in Toronto, the Mama sections are just generally a good source of inspiration for a mom-to-be who wants to keep a bit of stye in her life during those hard 9 months.


It's a bit difficult to find the Mama stuff on the H&M site - you need to go to the category you're interested in - like "trousers" (UK fancy-speak for pants) and then look at the Mama category. It's all there. Check out some of these great inspirations looks (all pieces I've seen - and some I've bought - at the Canadian store):

I might talk about my love of H&M Mama a little more in a later post but for now, it's all about my last dress... well, my last maternity dress. Let's not get carried away.

Karma's A Bitch...Literally.

My Favourite New Song, Funky Bubble Land - By Ludacris

I have a not so secret love of all things hip hop.


But I struggle with a lot of the misogyny that comes with many of the artists' lyrics. I am actually someone who prefers the censored version of hip hop songs and I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I can bring a pro-woman message to my all time favourite hip hop song, Jay-Z's "99 Problems..." (a song I can proudly rap every lyric to on command - although it helps if I've had a couple beers first).


Like, is it too much a stretch to put a positive spin on the following lyrics from the song:

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A n*gg* [see I can't even write the bad lyrics] like myself had to strong arm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me

Like, Jay-Z isn't actually talking about hitting a woman...it's just him talking about people in general he felt pressured to hit at one point in his life, just using super descriptive words that society (not Jay-Z) has made derogatory...right? 

Anyone with me?

Fine.

And although he's no Jay-Z (who is, really), I have found myself on occasion car-dancing to Ludacris. I am particularly fond of the song "Money Maker." But to the extent Jay-Z's lyrics are problematic, Ludacris creates even bigger problems for me and if I am truly to become a serious fan, I would probably have to return my Women's Studies Minor. I can't even bring myself to quote lyrics from Money Maker. That's how uncomfortable Ludacris makes me feel.


So, it does seem sorta weird to me that today Ludacris (or Chris Bridges in this context) announced that he has launched a children's website, Karmasworld, a site that is described as follows:

Karma’s World was an idea first introduced by Chris Bridges’ third grade daughter, Karma. She wanted to create an exciting educational website that was interactive, full of good music and fantasy. Chris wanted to make Karma’s dream come true, so he brought creative people together to make the website she envisioned.

The result is Karma’s World, which upholds the standards that Chris set. It is a site that encourages children like Karma to learn in an atmosphere of fun, offering academic lessons as well as ethical ones. It teaches the Golden Rule: how to treat others the way you would want to be treated. It teaches an understanding of “karma”: how doing good deeds can bring good into your life. It shows the importance of manners and the rewards of hard work. It reflects Chris’ belief that the habit of working joyously from the heart opens the door to children for a lifetime of meaningful success..

Hmmm... where to start? "Treat others the way you would want to be treated..."....I think I'll leave it to you, smart reader, to figure out what I'm thinking in reading this.


That all being said, who can deny the appeal of the tracks on this site... you try listening to Funky Bubble Land and tell me that that's not pure children's music genius. I dare you.

Santa Baby - What to Get this Mama-to-Be for Christmas

Season 1 DVD of The Wire + New Baby = Happy Mama

Our second baby is pretty much due on Christmas day. How crazy is that? One would think that this would somehow lessen the holiday stress in terms of Christmas shopping.

One would be wrong.

The emails between family members are flying fast and furious: "What do you want for Christmas?" Let's just say the answer to that question for me is very different this year than in years past (those answers were, of course, "world peace, end to world hunger and love for all..."...ermm). This year, I have to be totally practical.

The shock to your family finances when one person goes on mat leave cannot be understated. In some cases (like in the case of someone who's self-employed) you can lose your income altogether. In some cases, you're relying on a modest E.I. allowance. If you're lucky, your company will top up your E.I. payments by some amount for some period
of time.

Regardless of your situation, mat leave means compromises and some sacrifice. If you have a mom-to-be in your life, keep this in mind when Christmas shopping. Focus less on stand-alone gifts and more on gifts that will help her life out when new baby comes. Here are my top 5 suggestions (read: my wish-list):

Read the rest of my post at iVillage.ca

Best Smoothie Ever... You're Welcome.

When it comes to food, I can't say I've been the picture of good health during this pregnancy. I started off with the best of intentions, but truth be told, this baby has a serious sweet tooth (yes, I'm totally blaming the baby) and up until recently, my breakfast would often consist of a Starbucks Hot Chocolate (with whip, duh) and apple fritter, which I'm quite sure actually contains no apples.

But I'm committed to make a strong finish! And my super awesome smoothie fits both the sweet tooth bill and I think is probably relatively healthy. Enjoy!

- a handful of frozen mango chunks (buy these whenever you see them on sale - they can be expensive)

- a handful of either frozen blueberries or strawberries

- a big handful (look how precise I am with my measurements...) of baby spinach

- 1 cup of organic vanilla soy milk (our iVillage nutrition expert Lianne Phillipson-Webb says that if you're going to buy anything organic, soy milk is it)

- 3/4 cup vanilla yogurt

- 1 tbls of flax seed oil

I got the spinach in the smoothie idea from my sister-in-law and was skeptical. Sounded a little *too healthy for me. But trust, it's delish. Just ask Archer!

"Looking good for labour" or "My extreme example of how mass media screws me up"

Have you guys seen this crazy picture that is supposedly of a woman at the very moment she's giving birth? I have to tell you, I'm totally skeptical. But the editors at iVillage assure me it's for real.

Well, that's just great. Does this picture mark the beginning of a whole new pressure on women to look hot while giving birth?

To compare, this is what I looked like about an hour before giving birth to Archer:

I would like to put it out there that I have no recollection of saying it was ok to take a picture of myself in this condition. I blame the drugs (and oh yeah, the fact that I had been in labour for 34 hours at this point).

So I want to be clear right now for round #2: it is decidedly not ok for anyone to take a picture of me in the throws of labour.

That being said, I can't help but thinking, that I would like to try a *little harder this time not to look like a total train wreck. To be clear, I want you to know that I know, that looking good is the least important part of this day. I get that.

But I am going to pack my hospital bag with a few items that I didn't have the first go around:

1. Cuter pjs-lounge wear: Don't spend a lot on this. There is a pretty good chance that they will get permanently ruined. I'm not getting into details. Some of you will know what I'm talking about. But these super comfortable pants are on sale at the Gap right now. They are a nice neutral colour and plain (as opposed to flannel bunny-type pjs) and they have that fold-over top that works

super-well for pregnant and new moms. And while many will tell you to have button-down tops for nursing, I prefer the tank and flowy cardi-type look and it works just fine for nursing. I'm thinking I get a new set from Joe Fresh in a black will be the way to go.

2. Slippers: You still need to pack fluffy comfy

socks (dude, hospitals get cold) but when you're up and walking ar

ound, you'll want slippers. The last time I went to the hospital in Crocs. I had no choice. You know the term canckles? Well I had thighkles. And for a long time after giving birth too. Crocs were all

I fit. Shoe karma is a bitch. Seriously. So if you're there, no worries, but how excited am I that this time I could

actually fit into these little velvet slipper from Banana Republi

c? On sale for $30! They will make me happy when I'm home too.

3. Things that make my skin dewy: I am not advocating for make-up during labour. That's unrealistic. But you do get all dry. You're not really supposed to drink anything which is ridiculous and makes you feel all pruney. So a good moisturizer and a hydrating lip-gloss is the way to go.

4. Stuff for my hair: First, to the extent that I'm able to control the actual date I have my baby (and now that I've said this out-loud, I do realize I've totally jinxed that), Ill try and get my colour done as

close as possible to my due date. I didn't do this the last go-around and by the time I was actually physically able to leave the house with Archer to go get this done, I had a good full inch of grey at my roots...lovely and awesome for the self-esteem. Second, I'm going to practice doing a good braid prior to the date. I think that and a headband (you really want your hair out of your face) during actual labour is the way to go. Here are some inspiration shots. Granted they're from the runway and not a labour and delivery room but I'm sure I'll feel just as glamorous as they did during the time if I do all of this, right?

:)