If I were a better person, here is how I would have dressed on mat leave

This last weekend I had the distinct pleasure of meeting the new cutest little dude to hit the block. 2 week old...ermm...Don (I'll call him), is the ridiculously cute offspring of my ridiculously stylish good friend...ermm....Betty (I just watched Mad Men last night so these are the names I'm going with - whatever).

One would never guess seeing Betty that she just had a baby 2 weeks ago. When she arrived at the door, she was looking absurdly chic with her black tank dress, chunky turquoise necklace and practical but au currant black patented sandals.

As much as I was trying to focus on Don in all of his new-baby-looks-like-an-old-man-cuteness, I became immediately distracted by how great she looked... so after niceties and requisite telling of going-into-labour stories aside (which I weirdly love to hear, btw), I awkwardly blurted out..."How do you look so great?"

It's a weird question really and if she didn't know me as well as she did, she'd probably not know how to answer such a strange question, completely lacking in focus.

But knowing me as she does, she knows that really what I'm asking is "Where did you get your dress, your necklace...in short, what the heck?!?"

Betty explained to me that she bought 3 nursing dresses from a store on Jane Street in Toronto called EvyMama. To be clear, EvyMama is not cheap. Most of the dresses range around the $100 mark. This doesn't exactly fit within the no-decent-salary,

EI-budget does it? This is why, other than for 1 special occasion I personally stayed away from EvyMama while on Mat Leave.

I *so aspire to be one of those women who really only have 4 or 5 really super good quality items (probably black) in my wardrobe but I am a self acknowledged shopoholic so I focused on vintage, H&M, and yes, Joe Fresh while on mat leave.

But if you are the self restrained type who thrives on classic, EvyMama is a great store. I've selected a few options that I think are fantastic and versatile. And again all of these dresses have discrete little pockets for nursing. So great. And don't just use them for special occasions. These are comfortable and versatile.

The first dress above, called the Vanna Nursing dress, is $98.

I also like this dress which will be great for fall with tights and boots. Also $98.

And before you question whether these dresses are little too form-fitting for a new mom, forgettabout it. Own it.

And finally in the "didn't you know" category, nursing necklaces. No one does accessories better than Betty does and so she said she was panicking a little when she realized that maybe, her uber cool

and ornate necklaces were not so much compatible with new motherhood. But check out the Pi'Lo Nursing & Teething (yes teething - baby can chew on it when he/she gets to that stage) for $35.

I just got an email blast from EvyMama this morning saying they're having a one-day online sale. Check it out.

http://www.evymama.ca

This advertising sucks rocks.

...and so I thought I'd share.

In an email blast from Groupon about a local business that does blow-outs, they touted their services as such....

"Unlike nannies, textbooks, and Lamborghinis, faces can't be traded out for an upgrade every four to six months. Today's Groupon ensures your permanent cranium covering achieves its maximum state of comeliness: for $43, you get a makeup application and blow-dry at Do My Hair (a $95 value)."

Normal people realize that "nannies" should not be in the same category as "textbooks and Lamborghinis" right? And that nannies really shouldn't be referred to as a commodity that can be traded out for an upgrade, yes?

Maybe it's just that it's Monday but this is beyond offensive.

Just sharing.

It is not too early to be thinking about Fall fashion and you know it...

Ok, sure it's hot as Hades out there... but try telling magazine editors that.

If you look at the newsstands today, people, summer is official over. It's fall. And those big fat juicy fall fashion issues are on-stands now. And on that note, yes, full disclosure, I work for the company that owns LouLou magazine (www.louloumagazine.com) - but people, I'm telling you, go out and get the fall issue. I sorta lost touch with LouLou in the last year or so... to be honest, I didn't much care for it but it now has a new editor and a fresh new feel with a distinctively Canadian and affordable vibe. I'm officially inspired. If you see me walking around in 35 degree heat in grey, black, sweaters and boots, you can blame LouLou.

And as I was flipping through the issue I saw the world's cutest fall blouse, at a very reasonable $39.99....from...wait for it...huh? Sears???

And so as I was scouring the web for a picture of said Sears blouse to share with you all (and as you see I've found it), lo and behold do I find that fashion bloggers have been blogging about Sears new fall line-up and how they stole the show at Toronto fashion week.

The world has officially gone mad. And now you know too.

My Ode to the Air Conditioner: or Why I Would Fail Miserably at Being a Hippie

I had high expectations for yesterday afternoon - so much so that I pretty much wrote my blog before I even experienced the subject matter of my blog - which was going to be about how wonderful a day trip it is to picnic at a Farmer's Market with your baby.

I was going to write about how much I would have loved to be a parent in 1968 with all the groovy music, peace n' love vibes, and lo-fi expectations in terms of children's entertainment and...ermm hair products... and how going to a Farmer's Market as a destination fed into that deep routed desire.

I was going to show you super cute pictures of Archer frolicking on a picnic blanket with other children at said Farmer's Market while listening to local musicians singing uncontroversial political diddies about the HST and light rail transit.

It was a lovely piece. Really, it was.

But the piece (in my head, that is) started to take a gloomy turn as the barometer inched a little higher on the temperature scale (as if 27 degrees wasn't hot enough) and as the humidity rivaled a large tropical forest somewhere near the equator (I don't even know if there are tropical forests near the equator but if there are I imagine them to be quite humid... work with me people).

And on top of this, it should come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog, yesterday Archer declared it to be a no-nap sorta day. He's unpredictable like that. So you might imagine by 4pm, nevermind how tuckered he was, having 37 years on him, I was completely zombie-like.

So you'd think my being a rational person and all I'd postpone our big Utopian adventure?? Nooooo... stubborn me has to pack everyone up, tired and all, with a blanket for said picnicking, umbrellas (just in case), a pocket full of change for the yummy eats we would be eating, water, diapers, toys and head on down to Sorauren Park for its regular Monday Farmer's Market. We were going to have fun and lot's of it, gosh darnit!

Best laid plans.

It started off ok, I guess. It was lightly raining. Spitting really. It coulda gone either way. And we found a nice little spot, with potential for shelter under a nearby tent, near the music and in close distance to all of the wonderful little food vendors offering their amazing local organic wares.

We tried Tibetan Momos. A dumpling kinda a thing that was yummy and at a $1 a momo, it couldn't be beat. And there was the extra fun of saying momo to Archer numerous times.

Funny thing was, he wasn't laughing. Indeed, from the get go, if I even threatened to get up, he'd start whimpering. Not an all out cry, but I'm not sure what's more worse. Not even the funny little girl with the bright pink cast could crack a smile from him (although as I think back I'm not sure there's anything funny about a little girl with a cast at all - Archer is a wise soul, he is).

And then although we were trying to be cool with the whole thing, we started getting mildly uncomfortable with the fact that we had to eat our picnic food off of shared communal plates. And while in theory I think this is a great green idea, the whole concept had too many unanswered questions...who was washing the dishes? where were they doing this (it being in the middle of a park and all)? what if you wanted seconds? was it like a buffet where you start with a new plate or will the environmentalists judge you for not reusing your own momo-infused plate? Dude, it stressed us out.

Then there was the whole problem with the music. In addition to being a little too close to the impromptu stage for the little tired Archer, as it happens, neither Bob Dylan nor a member of the Arcade Fire were the entertainment of the day. And with all due respect to the lovely people who I'm sure volunteer their time and talents to the Farmer's Market, I still have in my head going around and around in an annoying loop (intermixed with the theme to Rory the Racing Car btw) a song that went along the lines of this "There are big maple trees...in Toronto Municipal Gardens, lalalala....there are little dandelions...in Toronto Municipal Gardens, lalalala...". People, the song seemed to go on for days.

And finally, there was the question of my hair. I think this is where me and and 1968 must completely part ways. I would not have had good hair in 1968. The technology just didn't exist to tame the wild beast that lies within my follicles. Yes, I am a vain, vain woman. Actually I'm a really insecure woman in all things hair which is why I spend an inordinate amount of time and money on it. And so when the little drizzle that I could live with hair-wise turned into a full-on rain (although not quite downpour), it was like all bets were off.

Save the hair!!

I ordered my dear hubby to quickly finish eating his organic but super yummy free range local pork sausage on whole wheat bun toute suite, packed up the blanket, and the toys and the water, quickly returned our shared communal plates to the communal plastic bin for the mysterious people to take the dirty dishes to a mysterious place to wash them (see, there are questions!) and up went the umbrellas and we were outta there faster and home in our lovely air conditioned condo faster than it took me to write that last sentence...

This all being said, in theory, this could have been the nicest afternoon *ever. And for that very reason, I encourage you to try it at your own local Farmer's Market before the summer's up.

Just bring an umbrella. Your hair will thank you in the end.

Creepy and moderately useful all at the same time.

Hmmm....Pillows in the shape of hands.

Ok, fine. Totally creepy.

World's Easiest and Best Tasting Dinner...Ever

Ok, so the whole cooking with job and baby is starting to show signs of coming together. Although I'm signed up for a hundred different daily emails that purport to give me easy recipes for dinner that very night, it's actually rarely the case. To be clear, people who make such claims, an easy recipe that I will actually make must include the following characteristics:

1. it must not take more than 10 minutes to prepare (chopping a bazillion veggies or making my own dough or pasta although I'm sure makes a dish better will never happen for me in the near future... never). I don't care if it takes 3 hours to cook, it's the preparation that always kills it for me.

2. it must only have ingredients that I have on hand or maybe just maybe can be found at my corner store. Like for example any recipe that includes the following ingredients are automatically out: okra, rutabaga, wasabi paste, rapini, blue cheese (really, do you have blue cheese in your fridge right now, really?)

3. in fact, generally speaking it should only include ingredients that keep for more than a day in my fridge I have lots to do and can really only manage to go to the store on Sunday. I realize this means I am generally more prone to scurvy.

So yes, lots of good ideas and good intentions out there - and so far I generally think the daily recipes from Everyday Food are the best (sign up for the email at www.everydayfood.com) - but all the best suggestions come from, you guessed it, my mom.

And this is a good one. Really good. We're going to have it at least 1x/week for the next 6 weeks. And then I will be completely sick of it and will never have it again but right now, pure genius!

Not surprisingly, it includes a lot of President's Choice products. I swear I receive no money from Loblaws despite my undying love for most things they produce. It's a pizza. An easy, relatively healthy totally easy pizza. Enjoy!

1 Original PC Flatbread

2 Cup Tomato Sauce

Bunch of Fresh Basil

3 tbls dried oregano

S&P

1 ball of mozzarella

3 cups Organics pre-washed Arugula

EVOO

Preheat oven to 400. Make your pizza sauce by combining the tomato sauce with dried oregano and s&p to taste. Spread over Flatbread and top with slices (don't grate - takes too much time!) of mozza and a ton of fresh basil (even I have this growing in a little pot outside - so if I have this you should too). Pop in the oven for 10 minutes. Top with a pile of arugula and drizzle with evoo.

Yummers.

Baby + Jersey Shore = Fist Pump? You decide.

As much as I love this site, Bunchland, that my friend turned me on to, it's possible they actually may have gone too far even for me - or at least maybe the makers of this YouTube video have gone too far. I'll reserve judgment on whether or not the Family Guide to Jersey Shore is useful information.

http://www.bunchfamily.ca/fist-pump-jersey-shore

Cocktail Hour, Baby Style

The debut of the new season of Mad Men has, well, got me thinking about drinking (btw, of course, I actually didn't see the premiere of Mad Men, it having started at 10pm, an hour I haven't seen since well before the little dude was born). Don't tell me what happened!

One would think that it might be a little easier now that Archer's baby days are quickly becoming a thing of the past, for me to get out from time to time, as a "grown-up" (a term, btw, you only start using post-baby), to have a cocktail or two, with my hubby or girlfriends. One would assume that now that Archer is a toddler, we've got our schedule down pat, we aren't as exhausted and as such, socializing would be back on.

One, I'm here to personally tell you, would be wrong in said assumptions.

Truth be told, I'm finding it quite a bit harder these days getting out. In addition to being a whole new level of exhausted now that I'm back at work, Archer is extra needy at bedtime and the whole process of bath, story, bedtime, which used to take about a half hour is taking well over an hour. Indeed, last night, after a fun filled day in which Archer napped oh, a whole, 1/2 hour in between park, swimming, rocking out at a Kensington Market street fest, one would think Archer would easily and happily fall asleep.

One, again, would be totally wrong.

Cut to Archer, at about 8:30pm last night, post-bath, post-Grumpy Bird book, standing - nay bouncing up and down - in his crib, while making raspberry sounds and looking at me while I sit there staring at him, trying to look unimpressed but really trying hard not to laugh out loud, but also wondering where it all went wrong.

I have been told, by those in the know (read: my mom) that this is another temporary stage and one day, I will be able to from time to time get out and enjoy a little bit of time away from little dude (not that I want to...ok, sometimes I do... don't judge me!) but until then, the hubby and I have come up with a compromise.

Drinking with our baby.

Ok, I'm totally exaggerating for effect. Truth be told, at most, all I can drink is one glass of wine these days - if at all. Often I am quite content, sipping on a Shirley Temple or Iced Coffee. Really it's just about getting out. And I encourage you to do the same (getting out that is, not drinking with your baby).

We have a pretty regular habit of dropping by our favourite local spot - Fat Cat Wine Bar - where the owner Matthew, has managed to be both welcoming to children (if you come Monday or Tuesday he'll show your baby live lobsters which is tons of laughs....ermm...before they become dinner - in future, you could use this a life lesson sorta thing) but sophisticated enough for you and your partner to feel like you're not totally giving up on life.

We go about 6pm when we get home from work, sit in some big chairs set up apart from the tables so we don't take real full on meal paying tables away from him (one of the chairs even has a pic of the Very Hungry Caterpillar as Archer is showing you above) and we're outta there by 6:30 to get back home in time for The Backyardigans and the bathtime bedtime ritual that will last far too long but really which makes us far too happy to ever have it any other way.

Got a good spot in your neighborhood? Let us know.

The End of Feminism as We Know It

Hey, I think I'm getting better at my blogging titles.

So tonight instead at attending this uber cool digital media conference that I had planned to go to for like weeks and was really looking forward to, right now I am watching "So You Think You Can Dance" while eating a President's Choice marshmallow chocolate swirl sugar ice cream cone (part of the PC Ice Cream Cone Shop line which is literally going to be the death of me - damn you President of President's Choice and your ridiculously tasty products...damn you).

But the ice cream cone is well deserved I think because I just spent an hour rocking Archer to sleep.

Remember in my first post after my little hiatus when I implied that Archer is sleeping well post-sleep doula-ing? I totally lied. Well, not totally. We are a *long way from where we were 6 months ago but a little thing I learned from another wise parent is that when asked questions like "Is your baby sleeping though the night?", whatever your answer is, "yes" or "no", always then add on "for now". Because, dude, these babies are totally mixing it up on us. They like to keep us guessing.

So my little man who was perfect in the sleeping department as recently as a month ago, hasn't really had a good night since we returned from a short and lovely cottage trip. Maybe it was the slight change in our much too perfect bedtime routine, maybe it was the fact that new teeth started cutting around this time, maybe it's just because he like totally wants to be with us 24-7, but whatever, the whole sleep thing is a little off. This weekend we're going to do our 3-day sleep training plan again to see if gets us back on track (and that'll be fun, lemme tell you... a total barrel of monkeys) but this week, since he appears to be in particular teething discomfort, we're totally indulging him.

Before I had Archer, not going to a conference like the aforementioned conference would have caused me some level of stress. Would I miss something important in my career learnings? Would I lose a valuable networking opportunity? Would this cause me to miss something critical to my career path that would eventually lead me to world domination?? 

Stress.

So does the fact that I'm *totally ok with not going to this conference mean that I'm giving up on my career aspirations? Or that I'm accepting the fact that only non-moms get to be a part of critical business evolution? 

Nah. I'm just taking the night off  from all of this, y'all, to take care of the little dude - is it more important than all of that career-business evolution stuff? Hell ya. But does that make me better (in the moral superiority department) than non-parents or does it mean I'm letting the "boys" win? No way. I'll be back at it at the office tomorrow and there will be other conferences and networking opportunities that I will go to. And maybe, when I run the universe (or at least a whole department), I might be a little more aware of the impact of scheduling conferences in the evening or on weekends or question whether travel is really necessary for my employee peeps in a world of teleconferencing and Skype. Isn't that really what feminism is all about? Changing models entirely?

Anyway, enough of this. Back to SYTYCD.

For now.

Almost makes a girl wanna get pregnant again...

Almost.

Check out the Russian editor of Vogue Magazine.

Oh yeah, my ankles totally looked like hers when I was pregnant (more like the ankles of a fashionable elephant...whatevs).

Food by Victoria

If you followed this blog while I was on mat leave then you'll know that I practically became a mini-Martha Stewart.

Ok, that's a total lie.

The truth is, as you probably figured out, that my mom was the true mini-Martha. But with like cooler clothes and a way better sense of humour (do you ever notice how Martha like pretends to have a sense of humour but really totally doesn't - it's not like she's laughing with us, it's like she's laughing at us).

Anyway, so my mom would fill my boots with meal plans and recipes, keeping in mind the fact that I was often a walking zombie and that my culinary skills were...ermm... limited. But that gravy train (ha!) couldn't go on forever and I had to branch out on my own. And for a while, I was doing pretty good.

But then work happened. And everything pretty much fell apart. Oh yeah, I tried to plan but it's hard y'all when you both come home around 6ish and Archer's looking extra cute and the weather has been super nice so you want to go to the park and just like hang. Who wants to cook?

And that's where Victoria comes in. Victoria Fodor owns a brilliant local food delivery service called Victoria's Kitchen. www.victoriaskitchen.ca A pretty awesome downtown mama herself, Victoria cooks up homemade meals with healthy ingredients and delivers them to your door. The price is pretty right on too. There's barely a meal for 2 over $16 and usually they're more around the $10. In short, way more affordable and healthy than your standard take-out fare.

Although Victoria delivers to most of Toronto, I'm starting to notice other services like this pop-up here and there. If you have one in your area, let us all know!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up on my daughter of mini-Martha aspirations. And in the next couple weeks, we are going to get this meal planning, food thing figured out. I've signed up for menu planning emails, I'm scouring old cookbooks, I've downloaded recipe apps (oh yeah, I'm going there...). But until then, and while the weather is nice, and Archer continues to be extra cute, I'm not stressing about it. Victoria, you're cooking tonight.

No matter how much you love your baby and how cool you think tattoos are...

Please don't do this.

Peace (wo)man, peace

Ok, still clearly working on my blogging titles here...

On Monday morning, my Facebook account lit on fire with responses to a status update from a friend who posted a link to a section of the Globe and Mail on Monday (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/why-arent-more-women-breastfeeding/article1636178/) and announced to all that the whole breastfeeding/formula feeding "choice" debate would be the next big feminist issue (you remember what that is...right??).

While the Globe and Mail seemed to suggest that there was some sort of war going on between women who were constantly judging each other's choices in this regard, I saw nothing but support on Facebook by enlightened women about the complexity involved with choices in this matter. So awesome.

This is not to say that judgment doesn't happen. I've experienced it as someone who chose to nurse and definitely saw it for my friends who chose not or were unable to nurse. In any event, whatever, people, at the end of the day, it's none of your business what your friend decides to do or not to do. But you totally get that and that's why I like you.

But really that's not what this post is about.

This is about me getting back into the swing of things career-wise and coming to the end of my own nursing journey.

I remember very distinctly driving home with my hubby after the birthing class in which they talked about nursing. I was like in total denial. Like total. I remember the nurse telling us that at the beginning, you could be nursing upwards 8-hours a day. It was such an abstract concept to me that I didn't even process it.

But dude, it's totally true. 8 HOURS A DAY.

And I did it.

And guess what, I totally loved it.

Well, not all of the time. Like not after 6 months and getting up like seriously every 2 hours for like 2 months after that. And like not at times where Archer really wanted to do it in the most awkward of places (you've nursed in the dressing room of a Joe Fresh, haven't you? what about in the middle of a rally at Queen's Park? in the business section on an airplane? or on a beach in Honolulu?).

But yesterday when I finally announced to my hubby and my mom that I was done nursing (after weeks of weaning), I shed a little tear. Ok a big tear. And lots of them.

What's this all about? Well, I think it is the end of an era. And my mom, God bless her, although extremely empathetic and supportive also gently advised that this may or may not be the first time I will be melancholy about this little dude becoming not so little (flash forward to 1st day of school, first day at summer camp, first date, moving out...OH MA GAWD I CAN'T BARE TO THINK OF IT ALL).

And now, btw, I totally understand why people have more than one baby.

Anyway, regardless of the choice you made re: nursing which I completely get and support, we all should treasure the here and now with our little dudes and dude-ettes (heck with all the peeps we love in our lives). It is trite to say it goes by so fast and even when things seem super hard, if you keep mind of the bigger picture and all the good love stuff floating around you, it's all good right?

Peace out.

It's time to get back on that horse called blog again...

Ok world's worst blogging-title. Clearly I'm a little rusty.

It's not coincidental that I stopped blogging when I started working (outside the home, that is) at the beginning of this year.

It's also not coincidental that I stopped blogging when Archer stopped sleeping through the night which not coincidentally stopped happening when we went on our lovely but 7-hour time hour difference trip to Hawaii.

Fyi, no amount of Mai Tais and palm trees and beautiful weather make up for your baby not sleeping through the night.

No amount.

But now it's been 6-months (or so), I'm pretty much done with gently sobbing every time I leave the house on my way to work without my little man (pretty much), we've done a little Sleep Doula-ing so we're all sleeping better, and I feel like now I'm embarking on a new phase of Downtown Mamahood (oh yeah, that's totally a word) and all sorts of new adventures and challenges have come up that I'd love to share as well as learn from you.

Like, how do you move up that corporate ladder while trying to be a good mom (and dad... you dudes are definitely not off the hook here)? What stuff is there to do in the city for you and your little one that doesn't necessarily involve super annoying music or treating you parent like you're a baby too? How do you (or actually do you at all) keep your house from looking like a daycare (check out the pic - I'm clearly failing in this department)? How do you like not order out food every night?

How do you stay up past 9pm??

No, seriously, how do you?

Plus there are a whole bunch of issues worthy of some discussion/debate right now... what's with all the so-called "mommy wars" going on in the media right now (did you see the Globe Breastfeeding-Formula debate yesterday? (http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/why-arent-more-women-breastfeeding/article1636178/). It got more space than the BP Oil spill. What about the debate about taking your baby out to nice restaurants? I just spend half an hour arguing with another mom who said restaurants should be allowed to ban kids from eating at their restaurant. Really? Am I doomed to only eat at Chucky Cheese until Archer is an adult? Does Chucky Cheese even exist in downtown Toronto?? Or anywhere for that matter??

It's all too much and I need to vent.

In short, I'm back, baby.