 |
| Nobody asked Isla what she thought about this whole daycare business |
And in my usual planny-ways, I was set. Isla was set. Two weeks ago I put together everything she needed to have at daycare: diapers, wipes, hats, change of clothes, etc.. I put together a little "chore list" of what I would do (me: drop off, kids' breakfasts) and what my husband would do (him: pick up, coffee the night before) once the reality of getting 2 kids in daycare was in full swing. I cooked 24 meals in an hour and a half at Supperworks so our first month would go smoothly and we wouldn't revert to pizza and Swiss Chalet (unless we wanted to, of course). I begged and successfully convinced in-laws to visit to help out for the first couple weeks while we settled in to our new routine.
We. Were. Set.
Except this. Isla is not even close, not even a little bit, to being weaned. Heck, she's maybe had 6 oz of formula in her whole life. And sleep? Although she has a regular(ish) nap at 9 and 4, the mid-day nap is elusive. If it happens, I don't know how it does. Usually we're in the car on the way home from something or out strolling.
And that reality hit home when I arrived back at the daycare today to a SCREAMING Isla in the arms of Sarah, an experienced daycare worker, who was trying, in vain, to give her a bottle. Isla was not happy.
I immediately swooped up Isla and started nursing her in a chair close to a sign on the door of the sleep room that explained how each baby should be put to sleep. It was very specific. For Sophie (names changed to protect the innocent), she should be rocked for a few minutes, and laid down in the crib with her soother. Jenny (side note: no one names their child Jenny anymore do they) could be given a bit of a bottle and a tummy rub. Rachel liked to sleep on her tummy with her stuffed bunny near by.
Isla's card was blank and that's when Sarah asked how we put Isla down for a nap.
Awkward silence ensued. I don't really know what I said. But if couldn't have been helpful in the least. Were other parents this together? Shame on me.
But Sarah, who I'm sure has seen at all, put me at ease. She talked about working together to figure out a routine; that it would be ok and Isla could still learn how to nap. And as she made some suggestions, Isla finished nursing and looked up at me and smiled in the way she usually does and her eyes closed for a little nap. She was on board with plan too.
Or at least that's how I like to interpret it. If she could talk, what she probably would have said, is "yeah mommy, I'll nap here just fine if you come about this time and nurse me to sleep."
Big steps and Big Worries. But you are doing great, and you will all find your way - even if it is bumpy. And no shame on you silly-billy!
ReplyDeleteI remember arriving at daycare for Margaret, and doing the "OMG how will this work?!!" nursing. Margaret was well trained to sleep after nursing - not the greatest strategy for a smooth transition to daycare. So, no surprise, we panicked and then worked with the daycare and found our solution... which turned out to be a simple soother. Now, I have a selective memory and if a stranger were to ask me if my kids had soothers, I would say "no, not really." Margaret had access to a soother at home, and we have photographic evidence that she used it, but I really don't remember her ever using it. But the fact is that she used it every day at daycare until she was about 2 - cause it worked for her there.
Now, the point here is not to suggest that the soother is some sort of guilty pleasure for the wee, (like laudanum soaked rags for teething infants in the days of yore). But to say that every family has stuff that is really hard to deal with (nap times, teenage rebellion, picky eaters etc). And every family has stuff that seems to work for them (entertaining in a spotless house with kids, organic sit down meals everyday, equal division of labour between parents etc). And every family has a selective memory on which item falls under category A or B.
Without your story I would have said that we had a great daycare, and transition was easy and normal. But reading this reminds me that really with both kids, stress and worry was an underlying part of that normal - a part that I do not actively remember.
Have faith and hope - you will find your solution.
T
Thanks T for the support/sharing...
ReplyDelete