I know there are a lot of nursing mothers out there that don't watch much television - or heck any television at all - while they are nursing but I'm not one of them. The way I see it, it's hard to do anything else *but watch television while nursing and in case you haven't been told ('cause I wasn't until I was like 7 months pregnant....thanks, btw, mothers who came before me), you might nurse upwards of 8, count 'em 8, hours a day.
Yes, you read that right. 8 HOURS A DAY.
Of course nursing didn't cause me to watch more television than I did before Archer (b/c sadly I watched a lot) but what it has changed is that instead of flipping mindlessly to other channels while the commercials are on, I am forced to actually watch the commercials. Like all of them... which leads me to the topic of this post and of course makes me an expert, right? Don't answer that. Advertisers, please read and do better. Otherwise, I may, in fact go insane. Here is my current list of "Top 5 Most Annoying Commercials I am Forced To Watch Because I Am a Nursing Mother":
5. Cashmere Toilet Paper Commercial - A friend of mine who worked for a branding company once had to name a brand of toilet paper. Clearly the makers of toilet paper have no sense of humour or realization as to what their product is really used for because we came up with all sorts of names for the toilet paper that we thought were pretty good and passed on to her but were outright rejected by her clients. They ended up with something like Cashmere Toilet Paper.... boooring. This commercial demonstrates just how serious they take their brand with a song called "Cashmere Daydreams" that will literally be in your head for weeks once you hear and which, I just noticed, you can download to your iPod so your friends can exclaim at your next party when the song comes on "hey, isn't that the toilet paper song?" If you are brave enough, go crazy, here it is for you... http://www.cashmere.ca/english/mp3.php
4. Covenant House Commercial - I really shouldn't put this on the list because CH is an awesome charity that I very much support but every time their commercial comes on with the mom an the newborn all swaddled up and then the edit to the teenage boy sleeping in a sleeping bag on the street with the caption "This is where street kids come from" (or something like that), I'm literally balling. Which is fine except - an extremely effective a campaign - except that this commercial runs like 100 times a day! This is too much for a new mom with the hormones and the baby and stuff. And why, btw, will Sarah McLaughlin only license her songs for the most depressing commercials ("Angel" is in that Animal Rescue commercial)? I'm just saying.
3. Every single yogurt commercial - You wouldn't really think of the yogurt business as being a cut-throat business but have you noticed how often yogurt companies advertise in this country? I mean, it's really quite disproportionate to every industry out there - it's like our version of the US drug commercials that always run (oh as an aside I would add the Sally Field "Boniva" commercial to this list if it was longer)... what's with this? Someone please explain.
2. Philly Cream Cheese - Do I have to explain this one? At all? Didn't think so.
1. Avril Lavigne Canon Commercial - When I first came home from the hospital with Archer, this commercial was on literally every commercial break. I thought I was going to lose my mind and vowed then and there to figure out a way to nurse and use the remote control (something I have yet to figure out). Ad buyers or traffic schedulers, please don't do this to us. And who ever decided that Avril Lavigne should be a spokesperson for a camera company? I mean, who does she appeal to? Only tweens think she's cool and last time I checked, they're not watching camera commercials on HGTV. Anyway, there seems to be a bit of a reprieve from this commercial right now but if this comes back for the fall season, I may just have to give up tv altogether. And that's just not right.
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